8 Weeks

Our second doctor's visit yesterday was very exciting, partly because it was our fourth wedding anniversary!!  Normally I wouldn't have had two appointments so close together, but my OB wanted to double check the baby's measurements to confirm my due date. I didn't complain because it just gave me another chance to make sure everything was going ok in there. I was so suprised to see how much bigger the little bugger was! The heartbeat was up to 160 bpm and you can totally make out where the head/arms/legs are. So cute! I keep talking to my belly telling him/her to "be careful in there!" hehe... never to early to nag, right?

The only concerining matter was that the previous week's bloodwork indicated my thyroid isn't functioning up to par. The doc said it's pretty normal for someone like me and scribbled off a perscription for Synthroid. My mom has been on thyroid meds for years, so it really didn't suprise me much. I was a little sad to have to add one more pill to my cocktail, but I guess you do what you have to do.

Nausea has definitely reared its head...though I'm not the type to actually throw up. I was thirteen the last time that happened, and I think I just will myself to not do it anymore. I would rather do most anything else than to heave uncontrollably into a nasty toilet. Not my cup-o-tea. So....about 2pm every afternoon...when that yucky swimmy feeling hits....I just park my happy butt on the couch and suck on candied ginger until it's time to make dinner.

Are you bored yet? Too bad..I'm going to keep blabbing.

One of the ways I try to boost my mood is to exercise at least every other day...usually swimming, biking, or jogging.

ONCE in a while, I pop in my prenatal yoga dvd. It's total cheeseball...so I'm not always in the mood. The ladies look like teletubbies without the wierd head thingie. Seriously...check it out: http://www.gaiam.com/text/videos/90-0020_video.html.

But anyway...yesterday I hopped on my bike for a few laps around the park across the street. It was a gorgeous morning, and since I usually feel pretty great when I'm working out, I was having a great ride. Until.....I tried to turn around on the narrow path so I could go look at a different part of the park. Normally sharp turns are a cinch....but since I'm just a little off these days, I forgot to look the direction I wanted to go...and instead stared directly down at my bike. BIG mistake. The bike drunkenly wobbled about and since my seat was hiked almost all the way up (from the triathlon), my feet couldn't reach the pavement. There was a moment of "oh crap" where everything started moving in slow-mo and I was TERRified I was going to fall off the bike. NOOO! I determined to NOT fall...and somehow I didn't. Whew! My adrenal glands had a hey-day with that near disaster and I was so shaky that I had to go sit on a bench to calm down. So...maybe I should forego the biking for a while...or at least the 180-degree turns.

Anywho...that's enough for one week.

Here's the latest progress:

The sad part is that the belly bloat is 0% baby and 100% gaseousness. Oh weeeell. That's what the flaxseed meal is for. Eat up!

It's Really Long!!!!

Hello faithful readers!!! I hope you are still here with me!!!

I'm finally settling down after a long semester to reflect on all of the adventures we have tackled...and there have been many! One of the more taxing ones was our recent trip to Ireland with Marching Mizzou. The trip was quite a task to orchestrate, and we were excited to finally get it underway.

Tom and I departed STL with the band on the Wednesday before St. Patrick's Day and landed in Dublin about twenty-four hours later. It was the first international flight for both of us, and Tom's first flight since 9-11. He thought I was being ridiculous when I urged him leave out most of the electronic/sharp metal trinkets and gadgets he had been stowing around in his backpack all year. Apparently I didn't do a good enough job...because he still got stopped at EVERY security checkpoint for a detailed scan and swabbing of his things. Something to do with him carrying his conducting baton in a repurposed PVC PIPE!! Wow. Pipe-bomb anyone??

Poor Tom...

After our awaited arrival in Ireland, we did some sightseeing for a couple of days and then marched the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Dublin on Saturday morning. Here are some of my flute girls before we stepped off: 

The next day, we loaded up all six charter busses and hauled everyone to the west coast of Ireland to spend a few days in Limerick. Here's a pretty view from the bus window:



Following the parade in Limerick, we did some more sight seeing including Blarney Castle/Botanical Gardens, Blarney Woolen Mills and the Cliffs of Moher. Here is a shot of me in the Blarny Castlegrounds:

Tom overlooking the Cliffs of Moher...we climbed to the tops of the cliffs in the background. 

And on the way to the top, we encountered this sign. Don't worry, I didn't act stupid like the kids and actually go that close to the edge. Stupid kids...

More cliffs along the coastline...he was a brave one. I would've never stood where he is standing in this picture. Captain Morgan, anyone?

The trip was EXHAUSTING...but it was absolutely beautiful. I am very happy to have the experience under my belt, but we were SO glad to finally get home to finish out the semester. We sacrificed two weeks of time in our graduate music classes and it was a tough chore to catch up. 

About a month and a half later, the semester's end drew nearer, but the numerous contests, concerts, research papers, and finals were really weighing us down. Normally, I can keep up the pace pretty well, but this time it was getting the best of me. I found myself crying in the silliest of circumstances, one of the more confusing ones being the time our director informed me my pitch was a little low in one of the pieces we were playing. Literally...I could barely keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. I am a grown woman, people, I should be able to handle constructive criticism! Though it was strange, I chalked it up to end of the semester exhaustion mixed with a few monthly hormones...no big deal.

A few days later, the biggest weekend of the semester had arrived: State Solo and Ensemble Contest. This is the day that all of the high-schoolers in Missouri who recieved a "I" rating at their district contests come to be judged and rated on our campus. It is a non-stop three day event, and all of us Band TA's were in charge of trouble shooting. The work load really wasn't that bad, but for some reason I was finding it more and more difficult to put one foot in front of the other. TOTALLY not like me. I'm usually right in there with the boys pulling my fair share of the load. Though it was excruciating, somehow I made it...and then performed in three additional concerts that weekend. Whew!

It wasn't until about a week later I woke up early one morning after a very strange dream about a little baby when I finally realized that my period was seriously late. For those of you who know me well, you are aware of how "in-tune" I usually am with my body...but with the hectic life we've been living for the past few months, I had completely stopped charting. I still knew approximately when everything was supposed to be happening, but I just really wasn't paying a whole lot of attention.

After using one of the little test strips we keep under the sink in the bathroom, I stared in disbelief at the result:

The second line was sooo faint, but after talking to a few expert mommys, I was assured that it signified a positive result. (and the twenty more test strips that followed in the succeeding days proved the hypothesis by displaying darker and darker second lines...)

FREAK OUT TIME!!!

Of course, this was the greatest suprise....but we just weren't prepared for it at all. Tom was especially speechless!

As the news sank in, we had a few more celebrations:

Tom's 32nd Birthday complete with sour cream coconut cake:

And my completion of the TriZou Sprint Triathlon....Pregnant!!

Here I am waiting 2 HOURS to get into the pool for my 400m swim. I'm a slow snail in the water...and waiting that long did absolutely nothing  for my nerves. Do you like the little ankle bracelet they made us all wear? I felt like I was breaking my probation...

 I side-stroked most of it. I'd trained to do freestyle since January, but it was all I could do to not hyperventilate in the water.  I did pass one bigger dude, though...I think he was wearing a snorkel. :)

And my favorite part...the 14 mile (and very hilly) bike!! I held my own...even though I had a mountain bike without the fancy toe-clips. Woot. 

And then the concluding 3.1 mile run. Or in my case...the run/walk. I'm so slow...I'm pretty sure I ran about 11:44 mile. Oh well. It was hot..and I was trying to stay pregnant. My amazing coach, Erin, is running my last few steps with me. She's the real champ. She completed a half ironman about a month before this.



So...after the triathlon Tom and I had a week of finals and then FINALLY the semester was over. We are super psyched to have finished our first year of Graduate School, and we are praying REALLY hard for wisdom about the upcoming year...and the years to follow. We had planned to continue with school to pursue Doctoral degrees in 2013, but we are really going to have to consider our commitment level with a child in tow. Heck...I'm just hoping I can finish the second year of this program. It's all very overwhelming, especially when I let all of the "what-ifs" cloud my thoughts. All I really need to remember is that God is sovereign...He ordained this...and He will give us the strength, love, and wisdom to embark on life's next journey.

Until then, however, I'm going to enjoy the ride by beginning my baby bump chronology!!

Week 5 (about a week and a half ago):

Belly Measurement: 37"

Weight: 143lbs

Symptoms: Extreme lethargy, incessant hunger, loosening ligaments

Cravings: Hotdogs with ketchup and avocado, relish and tortilla chips, steak.
Exercise of choice: Yoga and Swimming laps.

And...(drum roll please)...acording to http://www.thebump.com/ my baby is a blueberry. Yum!

I am, however, convinced that this prediction...along with the doctor's....is about a week ahead of where I actually am. So, in reality, my baby is a sweet pea...thankyouverymuch.

Ok...well thanks for sticking it out until the end!! I will try try try to post more often so marathon ramblings such as this can be avoided in the future:)

Pray for a sticky bean (or blueberry..)!



Update

It has been WAAY too long since I last wrote. Chalk it up to research papers, opera papers, Shenkerian Analysis papers (don't ask...), TA duties, practicing, and just trying to keep up with it all.

Oh, and did I mention I'm training for a mini-triatholon??

It's serious, people. And yes, I'm crazy. But, I can swim 1/4 mile in less than twelve minutes, which may sound SLOW to you...but it's an amazing accomplishment for someone who freaked out everytime she attempted to free-style. Today, I practiced swimming in my biking outfit, because I won't have time to change into them after the swim in the actual event. Lovely. I think the butt-pads added a little extra flotation assistance. :)

Anyway, I'm just trying to survive the next two weeks of classes, concerts, juries, and finals. And at some point, hopefully a summer employment opportunity will pop up.

Ok, I know it's pathetic, but I don't have time to write more....

I'm a Big Girl Now!

Yes, friends, I now have a website.

It's pretty darn low-budget...and your suggestions are so welcome.

If I can drum up a few flute students, I guess I will call it a success!

In other news, the end of the semester is calling. Only a week and a half remain, and I'm trying to remind myself that this degree is a marathon, not a sprint. I've never cared this little about decorating for Christmas and buying gifts. It's so nice to be consumed with something stimulating for a change! However difficult it may become, I will always be thankful for the opportunity to get my musical butt kicked on a daily basis. It's absolutely amazing.

Most pressing challenge?

Learning to write.

Academically.

Apparently, this type of written expression is not favored among my colleagues.

Who knew?

:)

Just kidding.

I'm really not as stupid as you think...

The Pied Piper

This weekend I attended the Chicago Flute Club's Annual Flute Festival in Evanston, Illinois.

I drove myself to St. Louis on Friday afternoon, hopped on a plane, arrived at O'Hare, couldn't find my hotel shuttle, called the shuttle company and was informed that there would be no shuttle because I didn't call 48 hours in advance to reserve the shuttle...even though I already paid for it...at which point I began to freak out, the lady put me on hold for about 5 minutes and then got back on the line to tell me that I had ten minutes to make it to the opposite side of O'Hare if I wanted to catch the only other shuttle that would be available, at which point I ran like heck (with my suitcase, flute bag, and my winter coat) to catch the shuttle, tried not to vomit as the driver bobbed and weaved through the city into the suburbs, ordered overpriced roomservice, tried to sleep as the drunk people next door yelled obscenities, called the front desk when I found it absurdly impossible, listened as they finally calmed down...but then began smoking (not me...the neighbors!), resigned to covering my nose with the sheet, woke the next morning, travelled to the convention hotel, tried a baZillion flutes...most of which cost more than my car, met Aunt and cousin for lunch, listened to an orchestral masterclass, met another cousin for three hours of non-stop laughter and yummy comfort food, walked around Evanston (I'm in love and seriously want to move there...).....

And then, the highlight of my trip:

Jim Walker.

Though you've probably never seen him, you will undoubtedly recognize his flute playing from movies like Titanic, Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, Beauty and the Beast, and about 600 more...literally. Here's the list.

I got to hear him play with his jazz group called Free Flight. It was amAZing. Sure, jazz flute with a drumset, string bass, and piano is pretty darn cheese-ball, but his improvisation skills were exhilerating. He is SUCH a wonderful musician. The entire 60-minute show was completely memorized, and I'm pretty sure he could've laid down another hour or two without much trouble. Wowzers. What an inspiration.

After finally getting back to the hotel in yet another crazy taxi experience, it was 11pm and I had to be out front for the airport shuttle at 6am the next morning. After the pre-sunrise shuttle ride, I slugged through security (with an additional flute in tow) and sat in a restaurant for an hour eating breakfast while I waited to board the plane. Upon arriving in St. Louis, the tiredness finally started to get the better of me. I had to stop at least two times to rest on the drive to Columbia.

And then...

It was time to play a Wind Ensemble concert.

I'm honestly suprised I made it through the program without falling asleep, but I think my dad being there gave me a little extra gumption to play well.

Though I was so physically exhausted by the time the weekend waned, it was worth every yawn.  Not only did I need to go to this festival to begin the flute shopping process, but I desperately needed to prove to myself that I can still do things on my own. That I am capable of getting myself from point A to point B successfully and happily. I needed to know I could still do it.  

So, now I am going to buckle down for the craziest week yet of Grad School. Two more proficiency tests, a 25-source annotated bibliography, and a listening quiz followed by a football AND volleyball game on Saturday. Woo!

Possibly the only downfall of being gone this past weekend was the fact that I missed this:

I love band. :)

Every Day I'm Shufflin'

Yes, I do realize it's been an entire month since I last posted.

Life is just THAT crazy right now.

The teenage body I once had is now encroaching 30, and it just can't function after about 9pm.

Isn't that sad?

Makes me feel OLD.

As if the 3 new gray hairs I found recently weren't enough...

I digress.

I'm realizing that following my dream is going to be a battle, one I'm not sure I'm equipped to fight. All I know is that I have to keep trying...keep setting goals...keep picking myself up off the ground after a devastating tumble to try again.

Oddly enough, the physical part of this struggle isn't overtaking me...it's the mental game. It's the "letting go of what everyone thinks of me" and just doing what I know I can do...and doing it with every bit of confidence I'm convinced I don't have.

It's looking fear in the face and screaming so loudly its eyelids stick to its menacing forehead.

I know I can do this.

I have one life to live, and this is its dream.

And I just cannot give up this time.

Latin Nights

Tonight, we saw Wynton live in concert.

We were tired, annoyed at the college kids behind us texting and talking, and trying not to think about the practicing and studying we could've been doing, but it was definitely worth it...even if the look on Tom's face when he got to meet him was the greatest reward.

I promise I'm not making a gang sign with my hand. Or flipping you the bird. I was holding a glass of pink fox wine...and tried to take it out of the picture at the last moment so you wouldn't know I was sipping wine with Wynton. Apparently, I was a little to late.